He Cheated On You, Now What?




You are only a victim when you have no choice; otherwise, you are an enabler. ~Tammy Campbell Brooks

The man that you love has been creeping with another woman and you just found out. The truth of the matter is, that you have known for quite some time, but didn’t want to rock the boat or be alone, so you tried to ignore it hoping that it will go away.

It never does go away, but don’t worry, you did what over 50% of women have done when they find out their man was cheating behind their back. They stayed and pretended like it wasn’t happening, even though their intuition screamed it each time he walked in and out the front door. Each time his cell-phone beeped with a text message or phone rung.

The day reality has finally sat in is the toughest and most grueling, and painful time. So what are you going to do? You are going to move on because you have no other choice. He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t know your worth since you didn’t let him know your worth. You allowed him to diminish your value. The value of your self-esteem and self-worth. In order to regain your priceless value, you must start building what you have lost, You.

The first step to getting over a heartbreak is to cry it all out. Lock yourself in the room and scream until you can’t scream anymore, and acknowledge your pain the best way you know how for release. If you need a few days to get it all out then do so, but once you do, you will feel much better and are ready to start dating and loving a new person, and the new person is you.

I’ve never adhered to or agreed with the saying, “The best way to get over a man is to get under a new one.”  Really? What does that solve? You will be in the same situation you are in now practicing that type of strategy. This is temporary and masking the real pain. It’s like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound. I don’t advise it, so don’t do it.

The second thing that needs to be done after crying and releasing your heartache is, start dating yourself. Get to know you. Take yourself out on dates and treat yourself the way you want that next man to treat you. It’s called, reestablishing your self-worth. Learning the value of you. Healing from within and starting anew.

Find things that interest you that you never had time to do. The best thing you can do is keep yourself busy. Join a gym and shed the excess pounds that you have always wanted to get rid of but never had the time. Perfect the inner and outer you.

Reading and journaling are also effective when picking up the pieces after your man has gone astray. Keep in mind that his actions had nothing to do with you. You can only control you. You have no control over what he chose to do, but you do have control over what you allowed or how to react. He only did what you allowed him to do. Don’t buy into his manipulative ways making you feel as though his cheating ways is your fault. It’s not. It’s him and he needs to take accountability for his own actions.

When he tries to return after his relationship doesn’t work out, don’t you dare take him back. He is no longer trustworthy and the relationship is volatile. He will leave as soon as the next opportunity comes knocking at his door or another skirt catches his interest. The best thing that you could do is tell that boy, bye! And mean it.

So, what are you going to do now that he has cheated? You will live and learn to love the brand new you!

Once you truly fall back in love with you, there can’t be another person that could break the bond of love of yourself.  When the next man comes along, he will know and respect your worth.

Refuse to sell yourself short. Remind yourself that this heartache is tomorrow’s milestone and with each day that pass, it gets bigger and better.

You will be smiling again in no time. I promise.

smile AA

Comment below and tell me how you got over your heartbreak.